My Love
by forallthosetimesXx
Summary: Nina died. But the next morning and for the next two she wakes up only to relive the day she died again. She is doing everything to pervent her death only to realise that she is meant to die but spend her last day with the person she loves most. Fabian.
1. Prologue: Death

**My Love **a HoA fanfic by TheGreekGoddessOfPencils

**Summary: Nina died. But the next morning and for the next two she wakes up only to relive the day she died again. She is doing everything to pervent her death only to realise that she is meant to die but spend her last day with the person she loves most. Fabian.**

**A/N: This is a like going to be a five chapter story. Like I said, I'm posting a whole bunch of fanfics since I'm on break. The ones that are successful I will continue and the ones not, I will not.**

**NOTE: This story has two different inspirations that I must state. One: "Before I Fall" a novel by Lauren Oliver (THIS IS NOT A CROSSOVER). Two: The song "My Love" by Sia (NOT A SONG-FIC).**

**Happy Reading :)**

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><p>Death is not a warm embrace in which we gladly welcome. Death is a cold stare, a stare that can see into the depths of the soul. It's like a maze. So many turns. So many different endings. It is that tall, dark door that is closed everyday marking another life gone. And only every once and a while that door closes for you...or someone you know, or love.<p>

I know this because I am dead.

Just another soul taken to young.

Just another soul to be mourned over.

Just another soul to be buried.

Just another soul to be gotten over.

It was a sharp pain. A jolt running down my back…and the darkness. One face will forever haunt me. One face will forever please me. His face. His face that closed my eyes and kissed me one last time. One last time before death.

It was a normal day...

"Did Jerome steal my clothes again?" Amber groaned, waking me up. The light from the sun evades our bedroom as it peeks in from the curtain. I sigh as I realize today was that Biology Test in Sweet's class.

I am wrapped in lots of blankets that protect me from the cool breeze that has slipped into the room.

"Sorry Neens, if I woke you up." Amber apologizes as she tears through her wardrobe. Her tone wasn't very convincing.

"S'okay." I close my eyes. All I need is a few more minutes a few more minutes of sleep.

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><p>"Nina." A voice says in a sing song tone. My eyes are closed and even though I know he is close it feels like he couldn't be further apart.<p>

"Wake up," I smile as he attempts to pull me from bed. I am tired. Can't he see that? "Come on, we'll be late for history class with Ms. Valentine." He says and I open my eyes.

Fabian too has a smile on his face.

"Good morning sleepy head." He leans in and gives me a soft kiss on my lips and I sit up in bed. How long have I 'lied down for a minute'? He pulls away gently.

"Come on stinky breath," He coaxes while making fun of me. "Let's go."

I blush and look down but nod at the same time. "Alright, but you have to leave now." I pull myself from the mattress and my fingers dig into his back as I direct him to the door.

"I'll be there soon."

As Fabian predicted we were late for History. Since I hadn't finished my paper I wasn't given free period like all the other students.

I had to stay in. At the time I had thought it was a shame since it was the only time I was spending with Fabes.

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><p>The day flew by, class after class, teacher after teacher. The same schedule and nothing had changed. When dinner rolled around I couldn't believe the day had passed so fast.<p>

Fabian held hands underneath the table while eating. "Yum, Trudy this is good." Alfie states looking at the pasta Trudy has cooked up. I had to admit, I agreed-for one of the few times-with Alfie.

"So, Jerome it was you." Amber accuses as she separates the pasta from the sauce filled with as she called it 'fatty stuff that makes you fat'.

"What did Jerome do?" Mara asked with an arched eyebrow. I laugh as Jerome blushes and tries to avoid answering by drinking down his glass of water.

"Well Jerome stole my entire wardrobe and I had to wear stuff from the," Amber chokes as if it truly disgusted her. "...the Lost and Found." She managed while holding her throat.

"Well it couldn't have been that bad." Joy tried.

"NOT THAT BAD!" Amber screeched making Fabian jump and let go of my hand. I blush and Amber continues. "I was humiliated...the entire 9th grade body saw me in my PJ's!"

I laugh along with the rest of Anubis House. Looking back on it, I wonder if I knew death was about to make a guest appearance at my fun party. Did I know that my happiness, my sadness, my anger, my love, my friends, my school, my...everything would be torn from me?

No I didn't. I didn't because you never know, that's the worst part of death, not having to say goodbye or feeling that horrid pain but never knowing.

Will it come while you're young or when you are old?

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><p>My death wasn't anything special. In fact many other people died just like me. My Gran called, she was taking me out for a walk in town as a treat of her recovery. She had called right after dinner.<p>

She called and later arrived. I got into the car and...death came tumbling towards me faster than anything else.

They say that you see your life flash before your eyes before dying. You don't. Well at least I didn't. Instead I saw my best moment. Kissing Fabian at Prom. How my face was so red from him calling me beautiful. And then nothing as the deer came from nowhere and Gran swerved. Nothing but his face.

That should've been my last moment. His face. But it wasn't. Why? Because the next morning I woke up again.

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><p><strong>AN: Wassup? Wait, I know what's up...you were reading the story. Anyways tell me what you think...I'm not good at writing sad stories.**

**~TheGreekGoddessOfPencils**


	2. DAY ONE

**A/N: Listen to the song for the chapter:**

**"My Love" by Sia**

**The song was part of the inspiration for the story. So yeah, happy reading :)**

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><p>When I was younger, my mother used to always love to mix tapes over each other and then listen to them. Of course I believed she was just being different; but sometimes, I would peek my head into her bedroom and listen to the way the different sounds collided with each other. It sounded so different, just the thing my mother devoured.<p>

After she died, I never listened to another mixed tape again. That is until death. It was ironic really. The sound of Gran's sobs begging for me to respond, the sound of a siren closing in on the car and then finally...Amber's scream?

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><p>DAY ONE<p>

"Did Jerome steal my clothes again?" Amber groaned, her back turned to me as I rested in bed. I gasped for air as I sat straight up, dragging my blankets with me. My two palms shaking, and my back sweaty. I felt nothing within my body, it was like I wasn't there. What happened?

My mind raced to the night before, Gran calling, me getting into the car; that deer. All the pieces were there but I just couldn't fit them together. My body ached uncomfortably. Amber turned to me.

"Sorry Neens, if I woke you up." She apologized not really convincing and it all sound too famillar. "S'okay." I swallowed, my throat scratchy like fire was threatning to burn my mouth if I dared to open my mouth. The words I said didn't feel like mine, like they belonged to a Nina from thousands of years ago-I felt like I was reading off a script, something designed so perfectly; so that everything fit, but where did I?

"Amber, what day is it?" I managed to draw myself from my thoughts.

Amber turned to me, her blond hair swishing as she did so; she was wearing her pink pajamas...just like yesterday? A weird sense filled my stomach and looking at Amber started making me feel uncomforable. "It's Thursday...big Bio test with Mr. Sweet," One of her perfect blond eyebrows arched.

"Did you not study, because if so...thank-you...I didn't either! I was too busy last night going over stuff with Alfie about our Reletionship agreement." Amber sounded relieved, as if not doing work was; well, a lot of work.

Thursday...but it should be Friday? My thoughts returned to what she had said.

"Nina?" Amber looked concerned, her usual clueless thoughtful expression replaced by a serious one.

I didn't answer, I was too lost in my thoughts now. Forget the awkward feeling but what was going on? What happened, who was doing this, why was this happening? I wanted to scream but I thought about the burning feeling talking set on me. Instead I slipped out of bed and pulled on my slippers, my body still sore. Right now I had to find Fabian, I had to talk to him. What if this is a message from Senkhara? Not that I wouldn't tell Amber but...like last time that risked her life along with Patricia's, Alfie's, Fabian's, Joy's and Eddie's? "Sorry Amber...I'm hungry." I lied without even looking at her.

"What about my fashion crisis!" She whined as I slipped through the threshold.

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><p>My body hit his in the hallway. Fabian was smiling, did he not know?. "Hey, you! Was about to wake you...you and Amber are late." He stated and I pulled him into a hug before he could continue, my arms wrapped around his torso and my head rested on his shoulder. It took him a minute to register that I was hugging him; when he did he wrapped his arms around my torso and rested his chin on my head.<p>

We didn't usually do stuff like that-just randomly hug in public; was it freaking him out? But right then I would've done anything to ignore the reaccuring sick feeling that grew in my stomach. I had to settle with that. It was just a dream and whatever it meant, I couldn't bother to think about it right now and instead think about how good it made me feel to be in his arms. But even then the image of me lying on a paved road with blood trickling down the side of my head kept replaying itself.

I pulled away and Fabian had a smile on his face. "What was that for-?" I gave a humorless laugh. "What can't a girl hug her boyfriend?" Once again the words don't feel like mine. Fabian laughs and I couldn't help but do so too because his laugh is contagious.

"Come on...let's walk to school together."

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><p>Once I am dressed in my freshly ironed uniform I have to look in the mirror before I leave. Honey coloured hair pinned back, just a little bit of blush-that I swear Amber puts on me in my sleep-brushed over the cheeks and a phony smile stares back at me. I tried acting collected when I got ready but that picture of me dead, still replayed over and over like a plague sketched into my head.<p>

I walked to History with Fabian and Amber-who was still dressed in her pajamas-quietly. Fabian was slightly annoyed that I invited Amber to walk to class with us, but the paranoia in my head; forced me to make things happen that hadn't happened before. And if that meant Amber ruining 'Fabina' time-I would do it.

"Ms. Millington, Ms. Martin and Mr. Rutter, do the three of you care to enlighten us with why you are late? And Ms. Millington, dress code at the Academy is very strict and applied...you should now that." Ms. Valentine scolded as we walked into class late. She didn't even look up from her papers that scattered her desk.

"Well, Ms. Valentine...I am making an _independence_ statement..." Amber started-her hands drumming against the strap of her messenger bag-but trailed off not knowing what to say next. She looked back at me with fear and a helpless look traced in her eyes. I wanted to say something but my lips were sealed with fright. That look-the one that rested in Amber's brown eyes-was the look that my eyes held in that image of me dead.

"Well, Amber go see Mr. Sweet, he might be able to see that you can find something to wear seeing as Trudy wants no Anubis residents back at the house as she is doing some spring cleaning." Ms. Valentine directed with a frown.

"YOU MEAN LOST AND FOUND!" Amber groaned and looked at me with a _'how-could-you?'_ expression on her face. She turned around and stormed out of class. "Fabian...Nina... seats."

I walked over to mine and Fabian's seat thinking about Amber's face. I hoped she would cool down. Fabian is sitting before I am and Ms. Valentine begins the lesson. I rushed to sit quickly and pulled out my binder. Wait? I hadn't finished my homework assignment from last night? Suddenly a cold feeling trailed down along my back. The image of me dead is replaced with darkness and brown eyes staring at me, the eyes of the deer; eyes of _death._

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><p>"OK, I will be collecting last night's papers, if you are finished you can have a free period." Ms. Valentine started grabing papers offered to her by students. My heart began to pound and I closed my eyes hoping that maybe when I open them it'll be Friday. "Assignment Nina?" I opened my eyes and Ms. Valentine stood in front of me. I groaned internally. Fabian looked at me expectantly.<p>

"I didn't do it." I muttered. She sighed and gave a knowing look. She turned to Fabian and he handed her his sheet. Obviously still angry, he got up and began collecting his work. I grabbed his wrist.

"Fabian...after lunch. I need to talk to you, it's important."

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><p>"...so you think Senkhara is behind this?" Fabian asked while our intertwined hands swung back and forth. I had confessed, confessed about the dream; that's what I called it-a <em>dream<em>. "Yeah." I whispered quietly and not because we were in the Frobisher Library but because I felt self conscience. I must look and sound crazy to him. I blushed and look down at the wooden table where we are sitting at.

"Fabian...I think that yesterday...I died. And _now_ I'm alive again. Amber wearing her pajamas, me not doing my assignment. It's just like that dream that you me and Amber shared last term. Where it is a dream and then it comes true...has the same thing happened to you?" My voice sounded deflated when I finished talking.

"No." He said.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp. When he said that the sinking feeling in my stomach raced ahead to my heart, making it hard to maintain my steady expression. "Look Nina, it hasn't happened to me but I _want_ you to know that I will _help_ you with this. Remember you said that you...died...in the car accident, right," He continued. "All you have to do is not get into the car, then no car accident. Problem solved!" He smiled and I couldn't help but return it.

He leaned in to kiss me, a smile still on my lips; as his lips moved on mine slowly I thought about how he was right. It was simple...no car, no accident.

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><p>"Yum, Trudy this is good." Alfie smiled his 'Alfie Laugh', as he stuffed his mouth full with pasta. I smiled too. The day was almost over which meant I was hours away from Friday. After my talk with Fabian I thought about how it would be for everyone else. If I died yestereday would they be mourning over me today...which would be their Friday but my Thursday? It didn't matter though, because the<em> real<em> Nina was here. Sitting at the dinner table in Anubis House laughing with her friends.

Gran called and I picked up. I told her that I was not feeling too well and it hurt to lie but I had to. Tommorow I would wake up, all of this would be over. What was worse? Lying to my Gran or dying in front of her?

I wanted to stay awake until midnight. My eyes never left the clock in my room. My head was comfortable in my pillow, a smile on my face. Amber slept quietly and when 11: 59 came by my heart beat sped up. This was it. This was Friday. Suddenly my door opened and Trudy walked in, her face illuminated in the moonlight shining in my room.

"Oh Nina, there is terrible news...your Gran died in a car accident."

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><p><strong>AN: Thank-you for all the reviews.**


	3. DAY TWO

**A/N: Song: "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran (studio version)**

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><p>DAY TWO<p>

"Did Jerome steal my clothes again?" Amber groaned, waking me up, the sun shined into me and Amber's bedroom. Tears slowly rolled down my warm cheeks as my mind and body tried to comprehend last night. Gran was...dead? Only now do I realise that Gran was in the car with me that night, I really was a bad granddaughter; I hadn't even thought about her. The plan had worked. The plan to cheat death had worked yet I still felt cold and empty like I was a corpse.

"Sorry Neens, if I woke you up." Amber apologized, her back turned to me. _Wait-what did she say?_

"Amber what did you say?" I said and I pulled the covers off me; a small smile played on my lips, I knew what Amber had said but I just wanted her to say it again. I didn't want this to be some joke-I wanted it to be real; for last night to have never happen. "I _said;_ Sorry Neens, if I woke you up." Amber repeated she turned to face. "No Amber," My smile grew and I sat up in bed. "Before that!"

Amber closed her wardrobe doors and racked her brain for the answer, her hands lingered on the wooden doors as she thought. "Um, something about Jerome? Wait-I remember; _'did Jerome steal my clothes again?'._"Amber gave a grim look, still annoyed with the situation

I smiled and flopped down on the mattress feeling good. Gran was alive and so was I. All was well it was a nice Thursday and I had a lifetime ahead of myself. The door swung open. "Nina, Amber...you guys are going to be late for school." Fabian warned. Arubtly-and scary, I might add-it hits me. It's happening all over again. Just another Thursday happening, just another accident happening tonight. My heart slows down and my body sinks into the mattress. This can't be happening!

I've been a good girl, I've done everything right. I took care of myself and Gran after my parents died and..._my parents._ They died in a car accident. It's like time stood still, my heartbeat sped up and I couldn't breathe. I tried enhaling and exhaling but it came out in laboured pants. I wanted a blackhole to open in the middle of the ground and suck me up, I wanted this to be over. My hands moved frantically to calm my breathing.

"Nina!" Fabian's voice sounded miles away. He and Amber rushed to my side as my chest rised and fell violently. The room began to spin. What was happening? Why was this happening? I had so many questions and too little answers. "Amber get Victor," Fabian urged, he gripped onto my hand and I became unaware of who was where. "I'll stay here."

"Amber no," I managed and my breathing slowed; I closed my eyes. "I'm fine." I opened my eyes to see Fabian on his knees beside my bed. His cheeks were red and it looked like his neck struggled to hold up his head. Amber walked back into the room wearing a catious expression.

"Nina are you OK?" Fabian asked and he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. He gave a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. A tear rolled down my cheek, I was just hurting the people around me-not even lunchtime and I'd given Amber and Fabian an almost heart attack.

"I'll be fine." I lied.

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><p>"Nina, your going to be late...we have to go!" Amber urged as she stood in the doorway. She was still in her pink pajamas. "I think I'll just call in sick today." I assured her as I sat on the floor in my bedroom looking out the window. Outside Anubis House seemed miles away. What would the road where the accident would happen look like? Would it be just like any other normal road? Would normal people drive across it not knowing that tonight someone would die there?<p>

"Nina-?" Fabian started, peeking his head into my bedroom. Amber grabbed Fabian's wrist impatiently and I didn't smile like I would any other day. "OK then." Amber said unsure and she tugged Fabian out of the room and down the hall.

It seemed pointless. School. I mean, I knew how the day was going to end, I tried stopping it. Once I died-the other; my last family member died. There was no loophole, no sign to guide me in the right direction-just a week filled with Thursdays. I told Trudy that I wasn't feeling well and throughout the day she visited me with a bowl of soup, and everytime I said thank-you; then when she left, pushed the bowl away because eating also seemed stupid.

By the afternoon I had run to the girls' bathroom and barfed three times just thinking about tonight. I didn't know which time it was but one of the times I held my head over that toliet; I made a descision. I was going to die tonight. I had, had the day to myself and that was all I needed. It wasn't like I had a choice, either I die or someone I love does...and then it repeats. This descision was the most honest thing I had thought about all day yet something was missing.

By late afternoon I managed to pick out my favourite outfit. I pulled the floral pink blouse on, following; I buttoned up my thin, yellow, knit cardigan and pulled on a pair of white skinny jeans. I tucked Sarah's locket and my amulet underneath my shirt and braided my bang to the side. I stared at myself in Amber's vanity mirror. Was this a girl who was ready to die?

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><p>When dinner rolled around, I joined the Anubis residents, ready to spend my last few hours with the people I cared about. I ate in silence as they laughed and made their usual noise.<p>

When Gran arrived at Anubis House, I saw Fabian's sad face staring at me from beside the Grandfather Clock. Suddenly it dawned on me. I had speant the entire day preparing myself for something that might repeat when I hadn't speant it with him. Even at dinner I ignored him. I had been too busy trying to force the food down while thinking of the coming death.

My heart dropped to my knees.

Fabian watched as Amber, Patricia, Joy and Mara all wished me to have _fun _tonight, and that they'd see me _tommorow._ "Oh Nina are you ready?" Gran asked. I nodded. I was as ready as I'd ever be.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank-You for the wonderful reviews1**


	4. DAY THREE

**A/N: This is the last day and then the epilogue. I'LL EDIT AFTER THIS STORY IS OVER. Thank-you to all the people who liked this story, I actually thought about trashing it...**

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><p>Your dead longer than you are alive.<p>

Think about it.

You spend about eighty years breathing, laughing...being loved by and then, for eternity you are dead. I never really thought about it like that. I never thought that in reality you are alive for a single second within time.

You let it all brush by, not really looking forward but facing behind. You don't show the people you love the love that they show you. And when it's all over your faced with a scary fear. A fear of remembering all the things you hadn't remembered.

Like tellling Mom that you loved her instead of asking her to drop you off around the block so your friends don't see her. Or telling your best friend when you accidently sprained her wrist that you were sorry instead of denying it. Or worse, not telling that special someone that you love them more than they love you.

I used to think like that. I always had my head in the game, too busy with Sibuna, too busy with school, too busy crying myself to sleep on the anniversary of my parent's death.

I was just too busy. But in the last moment when I swear that deer looked straight into my eyes. I saw something. I saw a secluded lake that growing flowers wrrapped around and the sun shining down on it. I saw myself lying in the fresh green grass, a smile on my face as I enhaled it all in.

Then darkness surrounded me. I held on for an hour after that. Listening to noise after noise until it seemed pointless. The big tall door was about to close for me and I didn't want to be stuck in the middle.

So I let it happen.

I embraced death.

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><p>DAY THREE<p>

"Did Jerome steal my clothes again." Amber groaned. I blinked twice taking in the bittersweet smell of blueberry muffins. It dawned on me that I had never noticed the smell before.

I sprang from my bed and ran over to hug Amber. I pulled away to stare at her shocked face.

"Yes. Yes Jerome did steal your clothes." I smiled widely and ran out of our shared room more excited than I had ever been in my life. "Nina...?" Amber called. I ignored her and ran through the hallway running into Fabian.

Fabian opened his mouth to say something but I interupted with my lips on his. For a second he was shocked but he loosened as I smiled. I had to stand on the tip of my toes. I felt loose and my heart was beating fast

"Whoa-," He blushed as I pulled away. "Umm, you and Amber are going-." He started.

"I know. Me and Amber are going to be late." I finished for him.

"Wait for me downstairs." I ask playing with his fingers.

He gave an unsure smile. I leaned in to kiss him softly on the cheek. "Great." I smile and run downstairs to the boys' hall. The floor is cold against my bare feet and I can't restrain a giggle as I am doing all this. I mean, I must be crazy; waking up and giving suprise hugs, kissing my boyfriend oh so bubbly and runnning through Anubis House barefooted.

But I had a mission. The whole world felt weird yet I had to enjoy this. I was glad that I knew that now. I ran down the hallway, once I reach Jerome's room I swing it open with great force.

"Jerome." I growl. Jerome's back is faced to me and he is putting on his school tie.

He turns around suprised to see me. "Martin, what are you doing?" He asks, his shocked expression slowly being replaced with a cocky one. One of his eyebrow arched and his hand drop to his sides.

"You stole Amber's entire wardrobe." I say, now it's my time to arch my eyebrow. "So give them back Jerome." I feel power surging through my body.

"OK, if I did steal Amber's clothes, why should I give them back?" He retorted, continuing to tie his tie.

"I wonder what Mara would say?" I say innocently.

Jerome stares out of the door into the kitchen where Patricia and Mara are. For the first time ever I see Jerome seriously thinking.

"Fine." He surrenders and my hands find themselves on my hips. Jerome bends over and pulls five big, cardboard boxes from under his bed.

"Here." He huffs as he struggles to pick up all the boxes and put them on his bed. I let out a chuckle.

"As if I am going to carry those boxes all the way upstairs."

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><p>Watching Jerome carry the boxes upstairs was so funny I kept laughing. Even Alfie joined in with me as he came from the kitchen,with three blueberry muffins in each hand.<p>

"Now, remember Jerome; apologize to Amber-!" I say but Jerome cuts me off with a deadly glare and I stiffle a laugh.

As Jerome carries the last box upstairs, Fabian descends down the steps in his freshly pressed uniform.

"Hey." He gives that oh so handsome shy smile.

Alfie looks between the two of us and takes a bite out of a muffin. I hold a gentle stare with Fabian. "Hey guys guess what," When we don't respond, Alfie continues. "It's my Birthday."

A small smile plays on Fabian's lips as we break apart. He is just so cute. "Oh really Alfie? Happy Birthday." I say and now turn my smile on Alfie who is now eating his Blueberry muffin.

"Yeah, Alfie maybe us Sibuna's can celebrate later." Fabian says but Alfie quickly adds; "No need, Trudy is making pasta." He licks his lips and me and Fabian laugh.

"The only thing that sucks about my birthday is that we have that big Bio test with Mr. Sweet." Alfie groans but I don't know if he is groaning about the test or the fact that he just finished his muffin.

_The Bio Test! _I hadn't even remembered the test and I hadn't even realised it was Alfie's birthday.

Fabian smiles as Alfie goes up to me and Amber's room. I return the smile and close the space inbetween us by offering yet another sweet kiss. His hands find my face and this time it's his turn to smile.

"I have to get ready stay here." I say against his lips and pull away.

Before he can reply I spin around and skip to my bedroom.

I've never felt this good.

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><p>After everyone in Anubis House leaves except for me and Fabes I find myself tearing through my draws looking for that white dress.<p>

Once I find it, I put it on and stare at the reflection in my mirror. The sleeves are laced and are a quartre inch length while the simple skirt part went just a little above my knees. I found my green converse and let my hair down.

I grab my messanger bag and return to the front hall of Anubis House. Fabian most be outside so I quickly sneek into the kitchen and grab some fruit and muffins and place them gently into my empty bag, I even grab the picnic blanket from the laundry room and fold it up.

I smile as I am doing all of this. I feel like such a rebel, today I have no intention of going to school. It's really hard to believe that the first day I had ignored the loop hole and then yesterday I had excepted death and today I saw it as a gift.

Once I am ready I leave Anubis House and see Fabian waiting patiently for me.

He really is sweet.

"Hey..." He falters when he sees me out of my uniform. "Nina, where is your uniform?" He asks and I give a frown.

"Don't like?"

He blushes and nearly trips over his words trying to fix them but only making them worse. "No-no-I mean, um,".

I smile. "It's OK. I was joking." I take my hand in his.

"You look beautiful." He says and this time he isn't stuttering in fact he sounds so sure of his words it's scary. Butterflies fill my stomach and my cheeks turned red like his.

"Thank-you. And I am not wearing my uniform 'cause we are not going to school." He looks shocked for a moment but instead of waiting for consent, with my other hand I grab his wrist and drag him in the direction towards the forest.

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><p>As we walk, I know I am following instinct as I guide him with my hands over his eyes.<p>

After I died all I could remember was that lake I saw, the flowers and the gleaming sun. I was so determined to find it again.

"Where are we going?" He asks for the fifth time and for the fifth time I tickle his ear with my breath by saying; "trust me".

The sticks and dirt beneath us don't bother me, but make Fabian a little uncomfortable so I quicken my pace.

"We are here." I say as I reach the open medow. The grass is a fresh green and the sun is reflecting so clearly of the lake. The flowers are still blooming and I even gasp like Fabian.

"Wow, this place...it's beautiful." He observes and bringing me with him he pulls me closer to the lake. The lake is huge and continues into the depths of the forest but what really suprises me is that we never found it before. I mean we had been in the forest so many times before, how had we never seen it?

I pull the blanket from my bag and Fabian laughs. "Your just full of suprises. Aren't you." I wiggle my eyebrows and we both take a seat once I spread the blanket out.

"I am."

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><p>By the afternoon our legs are numb from lying on the blanket all morning. Fabian is lying on his back with his head curved so he can see me and I am propped up against an elbow.<p>

"Your hair looks like gold in the sun." He says and I blush while smiling.

"Hmm, really 'cause it looks like a mess to me." I look down and Fabian smiles.

"You really doubt yourself don't you." He comments and I force myself to look at him. This was it. This moment seemed perfect.

"I love you."

His expression didn't change which kept my heart beat steady.

I look around nervously hoping he would reply...and he did. Fabian strained his head up to greet me with a kiss. "I know." He says against my lips. He has said it to me before, he has told me he loved me thousands of times...but right now, was my first time saying it.

"Good," I say and pull away.

"What?" His expression is puzzled as I grab a banana from my bag.

"You hungry?"

* * *

><p>When the day is over and twilight approuches me and Fabian find our way back to the house. Our hands are wrapped in each others and I feel safe at his touch. I can't believe, I managed to forget.<p>

I guess that was something love did to you. As we reached the house it dawned on me that, I never would be able to continue this love or go deeper because I would just repeat this day over and over. A part me was just fine with that.

* * *

><p>"Yum, Trudy this is good." Alfie says as he devours the pasta. I smile as this is the third time he has said that and everytime he has been right.<p>

Me and Fabes hold hands beneath the table and a warm feeling sinks into my skin. This is where I want to be, this is where I want to stay forever.

I can't help it, but by every passing hour I grow more selfish by not wanting the day to end.

I look at Jerome and Mara where Jerome is bearing Mara's continuous chatters about the 'big Bio test'-he must really care about her. Amber who is giving Alfie a disgusted look as he so rudely eats. Eddie and Patricia are play arguing while Joy sits there sharing the same look with Amber. With these people by my side it felt so right.

"Nina, the phone." Trudy says, walking into the dining room.

My heart drops a thousand feet...this is it.

* * *

><p>After hanging up the phone with Gran I expect the whole house to be sad but they are not. In fact they are the exact opposite. It's not their fault but I can't help but feel angry.<p>

While waiting for Gran to arrive at the house I slowly say goodbye to everyone. I hug Amber tightly telling her that 'Amfie' is worth every second, I punch Jerome's arm for fun and tell him to take care of Mara 'cause girls like that don't come around easily, I joke with Alfie and Eddie give hugs to Patricia and Mara, and even say a goodbye to Joy.

Fabian is last. A tear rolls down my face and I kiss him wrapping my arms around his neck. I don't want this to end, I want this to be forever, to never let go. But when Trudy lets Gran in, I know I have to let go.

"I'll see you tommorow." He whispers.

"Yes. Yes you will."

* * *

><p>Death is not a warm brace in which we gladly welcome. But for me, it was. I had spent my day with Fabian and not forgotten to do everything right. When I saw the deer in the middle of the road I didn't scream but closed my eyes and pictured Fabian and I by the lake.<p>

I expected to wake up the next morning but I didn't. Instead I finally understood what it meant by 'your dead longer then your alive'.

When you die, they say you will remember the things that you didn't remember. It wasn't like that for me...why, 'cause I didn't forget anything.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Now I just have to write the epilogue...writing the last day was sad for me but I tried to make it happy. **


	5. Epilogue: Remember

**A/N: Fabian's point of view.**

_**italics = live action**_

**non-italics = Fabian's remembering his memories.**

**Song: "Suggestions" by Orelia Has Orchestra  
><strong>

* * *

><p>EPILOGUE<p>

_"Fabian, Eddie wake up!" Trudy nearly screams as she ran into my bedroom. The lights flickered on and my hand covered my eyes, shielding me from the light._

_"What is going on?" I stared at Trudy who is dressed in her nightgown and baby blue bathrobe. _

_"There has been a terrible accident."  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Four Years Later<em>

I don't forget it nor do I forget her.

I remember crawling out of bed, stumbling through Anubis House. I remember getting into that car with Patricia and Amber.

I remember arriving at the empty road, wondering what had happened and why was it so important for us to find out late at night. I remember that sinking feeling in my stomach that something horrible had something.

And when we arrived there, police tape was everywhere and through the darkness blue and red lights had flashed like strobe lights. I had felt awkward in my pajamas but still had pushed through the crowd forcing myself to the front.

I remember gasping, turning around with my hands on my head and wanting to throw up as bile ran to the tip of my tounge.

Even Amber had turned around.

Because I remember seeing Nina's body lying there.

* * *

><p><em>I slipped under the police tape and ran to her side where paramedics were furiously working at her. What happened. I lefted my head up to see a car on flipped completely over being pulled from a ditch.<em>

_"Sir, you can't be here."_

_"But I know her."_

_"Sir-please wait behind the tape line." This time the officer sounded angry as the words came out like a growl._

_"But, I'm her brother." I lied._

* * *

><p>To this day, I suppose they thought I was a strange brother as I had ran to her body and kissed her forehead, telling her that I loved the day we had spent together, and that she should hold on for not just me but Amber and all the people who loved her so very much.<p>

She had been so strong, she had held on for a while but then she let her breath go and I closed her eyes and slipped back into the crowd just needing to be alone.

Today is the anniversary of her death.

I still find myself alone on this day because it gives me time to think. To replay that day in my head. I've never shared that with anyone-the location of that lake or, the way Nina had said that she loved me-I kept those things secret.

Even my fiance doesn't know.

I love my fiance so much but not in the way I loved Nina. I suppose I haven't fully recovered from her death, but if it taught me one thing it's that; life is short so live it like it is.

I hear it. I hear her voice, I smell her scent, I can feel her hair and I see her face in every teenage girl. When people die, you want their last day to be different because at the time you didn't know but my last day with Nina was perfect.

_I hope you can hear me. The day that you slipped away. Was the day I found out. Won't be the same._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The last part, in italics were lyrics to Avril Lavigne song "Slipped Away". I just changed 'it' to 'out.**


End file.
